Resilient Like a Blade of Grass

After winter, the grass in our yard went straight from dry and yellow to green and strong. My husband exclaimed over it, and said, "I wish I was as resilient as a blade of grass!" What a beautiful analogy! I could see how a resilient person would recover quickly from a trial and become even stronger.

The Oxford dictionary defines resilience as "the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties" and the ability "to spring back into shape." Similar words to resilience are flexibility (the quality of bending easily without breaking), or plasticity (the quality of being easily shaped or molded). Being emotionally resilient means we have the capacity to manage stressful situations, cope with the trials we face, and 'bounce back' to a positive emotional state. My favorite definition of resilience is given by the famous Froma Walsh (2006, p.4), she says it is "the capacity to rebound from adversity strengthened and more resourceful...an active process of endurance, self-righting, and growth in response to crisis and challenges." 

How can we increase in resilience?

First, we can assess how we respond to adversity. By checking in with ourself, we can self-regulate (control and manage our emotions, thoughts, impulses, and behaviors). For example emotionally, we may feel agitated, afraid, anxious, angry, or in denial. We may feel the total opposite, determined to overcome the obstacle and motivated to take up the challenge. Physically, we may be tired, experience a loss of appetite (I wish it was the case for me!), or have difficulty sleeping. Mentally, we may have nightmares, flashbacks, and our sense of time and reality may be distorted. Socially, we may feel clingy, prompt to enter into conflict, or lonely. We may even feel distant, uncommunicative, and unavailable to others (this is called emotional withdrawal). Spiritually, we may feel abandoned by God, or worthless, or we may have difficulties praying or attending church meetings. We may even lose hope. 

Once we have assessed how adversity affects us, we can decide to tap into our resources to deal with the difficult situation. We can ask ourselves, what are our options? Who can help? What are our strengths? What strategies worked in the past? What new strategies do we need now? What can be improved? Who can we help on the path to recovery?    

As a Life Coach, I can say there are many things that can help us be resilient. Among others, I choose journaling, being grateful, listening to inspiring music, setting short- and long-term goals, and connecting with positive people. 

May we all be "as resilient as a blade of grass!" 

Reference

Walsh, F. (2015). Strengthening family resilience. Guilford publications.